...Oh, our God is so wise.
Beth has been speaking for the last month or so about affliction (this particular talk was part 5*). She has shared that she battles with obsessive thoughts and memories, and has discovered that storing scripture in her heart is not only God's fierce weapon against these assaults, it's directly linked to His guidance and blessing.
I do share a few of Beth's struggles, but I don't battle with obsessive thoughts in the way she does. However, I can certainly relate to her battle with intrusive, obsessive thinking. I am by nature a perfectionist, and at one time had quite strong OCD tendencies (much more invasive than my natural "artistic temperament" obsessiveness), which the Lord mercifully freed me from in young adulthood.
No, my own struggles are about other things, but Beth's scripture-based insights into dealing with her own internal battles have been inspiring to me.
In this particular talk, the Lord used Beth to address me one-on-one on the issue of scripture memory. If that sounds a bit strange coming from me, you're rather insightful. Back in my days as a student in campus ministry, I had little scripture memory cards, but never really got past memorizing a handful of verses. These were the same days when I never got very far with prayer, so there may be a connection. But honestly -- scripture memory for an artsy, serendipitous type? Sometimes it seemed scripture memory was an occasional part of a discipleship-training program, but not much else.
...Let me just insert here that I highly recommend Beth's talk #5 on affliction. I won't make any attempt to cover the ground she did in Wednesday's short talk, but I will tell you some things the Lord showed me as a result of it:
Scripture memory isn't just a thing Christians ought to do. There's not much that people do because they "ought to" that really transforms the heart. No, in the same way that prayer and scripture-reading only become transformative when a person has been drawn into real worship, scripture memory only takes on deeper meaning and purpose when we see it in God's context. He can, of course, use His word as a tool and weapon even if we've memorized it because we thought we "ought to" or because someone told us to. But (this was an epiphany to me) the key reason for learning scripture verses and passages is so that He can use His word within His relationship with us. Not just to remind us of things, or to get us out of hot water under enemy assault, but to speak to us in our daily walk with Him. And to bless us! In short... among other things, when we store scripture in our minds and hearts, it gives Him a way of communicating His will to us even more precisely and intimately. Beth didn't come up with those adverbs; I did, because this was part of the epiphany. I want all of Him, you see. Everything He has to say to me, I want it. Everything He has to confront me about, I (stated with reverent trepidation) want it. Everything He has to offer me, I want it. Every assignment He has for me, I (again, in reverence and trepidation) want it. Yet I and my baggage are always getting in the way. Who am I to be getting in His way? Clearly I need anything He has to offer that will get me soaking up the mind of Jesus, so that my reflexes will begin to resemble His own. Make sense?
It made perfect sense to me.
Since Wednesday, I've memorized one one-line verse per day, plus one more that called to me from last Sunday's praise reflection. I'll pull back on the "one a day" idea if I see myself becoming clinical about this. But praise the Lord! This is His project. It's part of a larger project of His: teaching me His way. I wish I could be done with my own silliness tomorrow! But, oh all right, I'll take things one day at a time. That's also how a relationship grows, after all.
* The above link is to a TV program transcript which contains her talk, but you can also google "Beth Moore" and the word affliction to find videos of talk 5, as well as the other talks in the series.