"Beware of talking about abandonment if you know nothing about it, and you will never know anything about it until you have realized that John 3:16 means that God gave Himself absolutely. In our abandonment we give ourselves over to God just as God gave Himself for us, without any calculation. The consequence of abandonment never enters into our outlook because our life is taken up with Him." Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, March 13 |
The statement "Beware of talking about abandonment if you know nothing about it" seemed to be aimed right at me. In all fairness, though, it's a process. We begin by abandoning all that God has brought to our awareness to abandon. At the time we believe it's our "all" that we've abandoned to God, but as we continue with Him, He puts choices in our path that challenge us to toss our calculations out the window and bank everything on Him, to "err on the side of" His integrity.
Gradually (or maybe suddenly), we will begin to live in that place Oswald speaks of, where the consequence of abandonment never enters our mind, because we are so caught up with the Lord Christ, so aware that every abandonment is as a minuscule speck by contrast with His own. I can guarantee you that a person doesn't just show up at this place one day without having been brought through various impossible tests. "For You have tried us, O God; You have refined us as silver is refined" (Psalm 66:10).
In my own case, I have no idea what happens next as a result of yesterday's spiritual battle. Perhaps that's the point. It's not up to what I know; it's up to God's infinite wisdom and grace, working out His own great design of integrity within my little committed life.