Passengers who don't drive tend to have no idea how much a driver is taking in subliminally. From time to time, "Watch out, there's a..." turns out to be very helpful. But more often, the driver has already taken note of the "...," and the "watch out" distracts the driver and accomplishes the opposite of what was intended.
Recently on the "Praise reflections" page, I posted excerpts from an Oswald Chambers' devotional on abandonment to God. This devotional stopped me in my tracks. I read it aloud two or three times, tracing my finger over statements I knew were for me, including
- The test of abandonment is in refusing to say – 'Well, what about this?'
- Abandon means to refuse yourself the luxury of asking any questions [about what God is going to do].
There is a section of the devotional that I didn't include in the excerpt, probably in part because it hit too close to home:
- If you abandon entirely to God, He says at once, "Thy life will I give thee for a prey." The reason people are tired of life is because God has not given them anything, they have not got their life as a prey. The way to get out of that state is to abandon to God.
Not literally not given them anything, but He has not given them "their life for a prey" (prize, reward, booty). In other words, they are always bashing their heads against a spiritual wall, wondering how to unlock the fullness of God's peace, power, and joy. They begin tiring of life, because they feel the abundant life Jesus spoke of is not available to them.
This comes, says Oswald, from not having truly abandoned our lives to God. Then he provides a helpful litmus test: evidence of not having truly abandoned our lives to God is that we are still asking Him, "Well, what about this?"
Ouch. Do you see yourself in this? I see myself in it almost as though Oswald had written my name in this incredible diagnosis. "What about this?" was one of the main ingredients fed to me in my pablum. I am very inquisitive in the healthy sense -- but also very much in the "not resting" sense.
To date, I have been a frequent back-seat driver in my walk with the Lord. Just as anxious driving commentary is virtually always counterproductive, my "What about this-es" to God are counterproductive. Always. They are keeping me from full abandon to Him, and from true rest in Him. However much I may believe I am fully abandoned to Jesus, my worry tells Him that I am not.
He made us, and He knows us. He isn't judging our "What about this?" history. He's simply saying, "I have a much better way."
There is no human way to learn to abandon fully to God. But if we are willing, He will teach us.
I notice, though, that Oswald's prescription uses the word "refuse" not once but twice. Refusing to do something is an active process! God will not make us stop being spiritual back-seat drivers. We must begin by catching ourselves mid-fret, remembering that how [whatever] gets sorted out is an executive decision being handled by the Trinity. It's not ours anymore.