But wow, was that a storm coming? I didn't see this in the forecast, but then I had only checked the forecast for my own town, which is at least half an hour away from the church. For a moment I thought, this was a mistake. At this time of year a rain storm could become something much more treacherous.
Once inside, I put the weather behind me. At one point near the end of the morning, I looked out the window and saw that the sky was now a grey-white canopy. No more storm looming.
There are black clouds over my life right now. A relationship that is precious to me is in danger. I don't know what to do. I can't fix it. There are too many layers. I may be able to buffer the storm in some ways, but whatever happens will have to just play out in the Lord's own timing.
Looking back on the year that has just passed, I see the Lord's wisdom in having brought other alarming storms. By His grace, I survived them all; by His grace, each one changed me. I'm not the same as I was a year ago. In some ways I am sadder, but I am more sure of my God, and more trusting of His heart.
One of the first things that struck me, as these clouds grew darker recently, was that God Himself knows what this feels like. Relationships that are precious to Him are in danger. God, who can fix anything, is now in the position of waiting for each of us to choose. He will not force His love upon anyone. Waiting hurts. Watching a loved one close doors, even for a time, hurts.
I am not meant to be the fulfilment of everything someone was created to be. Of course not. But God is. Imagine how much more it hurts for Him.
One thing I know, though. Whether God allows these black clouds over my life to pour, or rain ice, or whether He allows them to soften into a grey-white canopy, He will carry me through them. I am His. He has found me. I have chosen.