God has already granted any requests I make that are in line with His will (Mark 11:24); some of the answers just aren't available to me yet. He will walk me there as I continue to submit to Him completely, in thanksgiving and obedience and love and trust.
Armed with this new perspective, I stepped out yesterday in what seemed to me like a very small demonstration of Mark 11:24 faith. I went looking for a coat. A very ordinary coat, at the second-hand store, but I was absolutely sure it would be there. Why? Because I need it. Colder weather is coming. And has He not promised to provide what we need?
The coat wasn't there. I don't think He meant me to get a coat that didn't fit right or that looked silly, just to prove a point. I think He knows me inside-out and knows what I need and what will make me feel cared for and hugged by my heavenly Father. But that item wasn't there yesterday. I felt a distinct twinge of disappointment. "I was so sure it would be here, Father," I whispered. I looked again. Sigh.
Is this how He plans to respond to my new-found "ask as though you have already received" faith?
I walked to another part of the store and saw a sister in Christ I know from a church I used to go to. She works at the store, so I told her about my little coat/faith mission. There will be lots more coats put out after Halloween, she said.
Oh, silly me. I had picked the timeline. If I had said, "I'm going over to the mall and I'm sure You will have a nice surprise for me there," would there have been a nice surprise? Probably not, because He wouldn't likely want to reward that kind of magical thinking. Anyway, He gets to do the surprising. It's sweeter that way.
Sometimes we have to wait for the things we need.
There are other, much more critical needs I know He will answer, but the answers aren't there yet. A priceless family member has become incommunicado towards me. I have reason to wonder whether part of this isn't spiritual (2 Corinthians 2:15-16); I'm not sure. But whatever the reasons are, the wait is unbearable. The only way to bear it is by putting a lock on that part of my heart as much as possible, and falling into the Lord's arms. Some other waits in my life are causing me similar but less intensely personal distress.
A coat? Well, I have a coat that will do in the meantime. If I get a bit chilly, He will keep me warm. He does that exquisitely well, by encamping around me day and night.
Faith is faith in the Provider, not in the provision. Sometimes we step out and everything falls into place. Other times we're expecting things to fall into place and they don't.
Does that mean God hasn't heard our needs? No, if we are walking in righteousness, with Jesus as fully Lord, He always hears us. But He doesn't always take us where we expect to go. Often He has a better end result waiting than we could imagine. We just haven't arrived yet at the place where He has it stored.
I being in the way, the Lord led me
(Genesis 24:27b, KJV)